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When You Are Old and Alone

Go to the liquor store today. Any one will do.

 

Do not waste your time in any of the aisles. Proceed directly to the counter. Behind the counter will be an assortment of pint and half-pint bottles, arranged by type: vodkas, gins, rums, etc. Find the whiskeys.

 

Pick the largest, cheapest one. Pay for it. Put it in your pocket. Leave.

 

Find a movie theater.

 

Buy a ticket for the next showing. It doesn’t matter what’s playing.

 

When the lights dim, begin taking your whiskey straight from the bottle. No mixers. No chasers.

 

The first few drinks will hurt. Then your mouth will go numb, the burning in your throat will subside, and your stomach will stop complaining.

 

Continue drinking as best you can.

 

Do not gulp. Sip. Otherwise you will become sick.

 

Soon the alcohol will begin to take over. This means that you will become increasingly unable to follow dialogue, identify characters, and connect important plot points.

 

Do not try to stop this from happening. You cannot fight it. It is, as you will soon see, the reason why you are drinking by yourself in the theater in the first place.

 

The movie will rapidly deteriorate into nothing more than a series of disconnected images, strange sounds, and words with no meaning behind them.

 

You will tire of watching what you can no longer understand, and begin to look instead at the darkened faces of those in the theater around you.

 

They will not notice you. It will be as if you do not even exist.

 

When this happens, whisper to yourself, over and over:

 

This is what it will feel like.

 

This is what it will feel like.

 

This is what it will feel like.

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