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The Only Night of the Year

“No! Please!”

That’s when I plunged my dagger into her side. She let out a pained squeal that could only be compared to a piglet being tortured. Smiling, I twisted the hilt as she started to go limp.

Then she came back to life. “We’re really gonna give these kids something to shout about! Like come on, a fake knife with a FREAKIN’ RETRACTABLE BLADE!”

I nodded my head giddily and said, “Tonight’s the only night of the year we can get away with this! I just hope you don’t lose your voice from all the screaming you’ll be doing tonight, both down here AND upstairs.” I followed it up with a coy wink.

She gasped, but her smile gave away that she was more excited than offended by my comment. She moved into the kitchen to prepare. I stepped out onto the front porch to have my final cigarette of the night.

As it started to get dark, our street finally began to come alive with costumed kiddos. Across the street, I noticed what must have been the Robinson’s first visitor leaving their house. It was too dark to make out what the little guy’s costume was, but I saw he was carrying two buckets shaped like jack-o’-lanterns, one in each hand. He must have made a killing so far, because some treats spilled out of the buckets and onto the sidewalk with every step he took.

He didn’t stop by our place. He just walked slowly down our road and turned at Guerrero street. Thankfully, our frightful night commenced soon after as our first group of trick-or-treaters made their way into our front yard.

We played it to perfection: she’d give the kids their treats, then as she was about to bid them farewell I’d pop out from behind the door frame and stick the fake blade into her throat. The kids ran off terrified, as my scream queen feigned a painful death. As they ran, I’d shout, “Happy Halloween!”

We must have done the prank successfully thirty times before the crowd thinned out and we called it a night. She and I were cleaning up when we heard a knock on our door.

I answered.

“Hi, Officer… if this is about our little prank, it’s just…”

“Sir,” he said sternly “your neighbors across the street have been murdered. Did you see anything suspicious tonight?”

Across the street, I saw another cop using a flashlight to illuminate a crimson red trail on the sidewalk, which he followed down our road and onto Guerrero street.

He continued, “the sick fuck chopped them up with an ax and left us everything but their heads. We have nine witnesses who reported seeing a kid in an orange jumpsuit earlier tonight, carrying two severed heads down Guerrero Street with him… but they thought it was all his costume. Tonight’s the only night of the year he could have gotten away with this.”

submitted by /u/donutboy456781
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