What More Should I Do?
Marriage is a long journey where both the members need to actively participate, love and support each other. My husband, Suraj, is the only true company I have. That’s why I’m feeling a bit disappointed now. Probably even a bit annoyed. We came on a drive after our lunch and he’s being staring dead straight from the beginning.
‘Suraj! Did you hear what I just said?’, I ask sweetly. He is still staring ahead.
I take my hand off the wheel and snap my fingers in front of him. His almost glassy eyes make him look as if he’s lost in thought. I park the car on the side and turn towards him.
‘Darling, blink twice if you heard what I said’. I can see that he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. Tears start welling in them. Finally, he gives in and blinks rapidly in succession. He then tightly shuts his eyes.
I sigh and start the car again. We drive in silence. What more should I do? No matter what I do, it’s never enough.
We reach the mall’s parking lot and I take out his wheelchair. Initially I used to struggle under his weight, but I’ve become stronger now.
Anyone would have left him when he accidentally fell down the stairs and became paralysed from neck down. Why can’t he see my love for him, my need for his acceptance and respect? Did I not put up with him all these years – mind you, he wasn’t easy to please.
Yes, I did feel saturated and wanted an escape, but that was before his accident. He’s improved a lot since then. Atleast he has learnt not to hit me again.